Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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