hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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