so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
