It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
