Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
