Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
