is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
