sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
