Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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