I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
