Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
