What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
