Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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