Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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