Just cropdusted the office
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
