im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
