Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
vagina is talking i cant
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
