I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
