I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
