its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i think my cat just said my name.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
