I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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