You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
