He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
