What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
