I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
