I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
