He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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