I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
