no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
