This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
