so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
