Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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