Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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