This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
