She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
how does that bad decision feel?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
