You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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