Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
