Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
