and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
