we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
