Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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