Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
