dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
