I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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