You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
how drunk are you?
Several
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
