when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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