i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
