Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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