I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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