oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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