You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
